Freedom of Speech? Or a Hate Crime?

boy in black hoodie with duct tape on mouthIn my newsletter this month, I chatted about why I’m choosing to pursue independent publishing. I have several reasons. One reason was because a freedom, one I always assumed would be available, seems to be on shaky ground.

Words are powerful. As a storyteller, I know views and opinions can be changed by words. That said, I’m not a fan of vulgarity (it shows a lack of creativity), I don’t condone sharing dangerous ideas (how to make a homemade bomb, for instance), or spreading hate whether it’s on a digital page or in person.

Yet…isn’t vulgarity, the sharing of ideas, and the freedom to articulate any idea exactly freedom of speech? If we live here in America (and some other countries, as well), we have the freedom to say what we want. If your message is despicable, vulgar, and/or insulting, there could be consequences for what you say. But if no one is harmed, the government can’t arrest someone for things said.

Until Stuart Seldowitz.

Recently, Mr. Seldowitz was arrested for a hate crime in New York. He’d been harassing an Egyptian halal food vendor. Even though the man asked him to stop, Mr. Seldowitz continued. He made Islamophobic remarks and threatened to send the man’s picture to his friends in immigration. He even went so far as to say, “If we killed 4,000 Palestinian children, you know what? It wasn’t enough.”

His comments turn my stomach and pains my heart. People are people, regardless of their ethnicity or where they live, but the issue in the Middle East has everyone on edge. In the last week alone, the news reported several hate crimes, most of them shootings. Mr. Seldowitz’s behavior and speech was abhorrent. But is it a hate crime?

New York thought so. Here’s their list of the hate crimes that can be prosecuted, which include harassment and stalking. (https://www.ny.gov/designated-hate-crimes)

The U.S. Department of Justice has the following to say about hate crimes. The “crime” in hate crime is often a violent crime, such as assault, murder, arson, vandalism, or threats to commit such crimes. It may also cover conspiring or asking another person to commit such crimes, even if the crime was never carried out. Under the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, people cannot be prosecuted simply for their beliefs. People may be offended or upset about beliefs that are untrue or based upon false stereotypes, but it is not a crime to express offensive beliefs, or to join with others who share such views.

https://www.justice.gov/hatecrimes/learn-about-hate-crimes

If it’s not a crime to express offensive beliefs, where’s the line between it and harassment? I’m not condoning what Mr. Seldowitz did. For the record, after his arrest, he was charged (he pled not guilty), and released without bail.**

Everyone seems eager to be offended by something. Dog-piling has become an Olympic-level activity on social media. The message goes out, “We will withhold our support from this person and their unpopular beliefs and will do anything else we can to make their life difficult” and then we hear about that person struggling to keep their small businesses running while dealing with hate email. Cancel culture is alive and well, my friend.

But what if it’s you next time? You disagree with someone—you don’t like their political affiliation, their country’s actions or beliefs, their sexual identity, or their religion. It comes up and the other person becomes offended by your views and feels “excluded and attacked.”

Kindness should always be the response when dialoguing with someone who holds opposing views. While I’m not saying we should roll over and be a doormat, we can speak the truth in love. Even with this mindset in place, you may share an unpopular opinion that offends another.

Will it cause you to be arrested?

 

 

 

Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

How Far Is Too Far?

There’s an audience for every subgenre of romance—romcoms, suspense, military, sports, bully, motorcycle clubs, and mafia (Don’t even get me started on those last three–that’s a whole ‘nother post!) Anyway, my point is whatever your preferred subgenre, there’s a sizeable group on social media that stands with you. Almost every romance subgenre references “book boyfriends,” as well. Readers dive into the fandom and enjoy these fictional characters with new content, fan art, book clubs, and discussions. The characters are perfect, swoony, and say and do all the right things (as long as they’re written and edited correctly!) 😉

There’s a segment of romance readers who love sports romance, including hockey. Many of them hang out on BookTok (i.e., bookish TikTok), where they talk about books and literature. I wasn’t aware “hockey is actually the biggest sports subgenre in romance outside of Canada.”1  According to romance author Farah Heron, “BookTok is super horny. TikTok goes through trends with what’s popular in the book environment there. For a while it was all about horny fantasy romance, and then it started going into extra, extra spicy contemporary romance…. Now, hockey is having a moment on BookTok.”

The Seattle Kraken ice hockey team took advantage of this. In the winter of last year, they leaned into the subgenre of hockey romance on BookTok. There’s just one problem with that. Apparently, no one told them BookTok, Instagram, and other social media are like the Wild West.

Nashville influencer Kierra Lewis shared enthusiastic (and sometimes explicit) BookTok posts about the Seattle Kraken and player Alex Wennberg. The Kraken flew her out to see Game 4 of the second–round playoff series against Dallas. She held up a sign during the game with “Krack My Back” emblazoned across it. (A riff on the saying “Break my back,” which references vigorous… well, I’m sure you can fill in the blank.) When the Kraken lost, they flew Lewis home and stopped posting BookTok content. It was just as well, since they had received complaints about the players being objectified.

But it didn’t stop for Alex Wennberg and his family. Although he and his wife had initially joked about some of the attention, it grew to be too much. Explicit posts, particularly from Lewis, became common, with one post describing in detail what she wanted Alex to do to her. His wife Felicia screenshot the post and concluded, “What doesn’t sit with me is when your desires come with sexual harassment, inappropriate comments, and the fact that with the internet, we can normalize behavior that would never be ok if we flipped the genders around.”

BookTok responded with mocking backlash, along with harsh comments about Alex’s play and his marriage (Really? Come on, people. Be better.) He followed up with his own post days later. “As someone who’s been media trained my whole career, I’ve been taught to bite my tongue and leave it instead of making a statement. But it has gone too far for me to stay quiet when people post vile comments on my wife’s Instagram and on photos of our child. … Enough of sexual harassment, and harassment of our character and our relationship.”

Amidst all the chaos, the Kraken unfollowed Lewis. She was upset. “The reason why BookTok even was aware of the Kraken, or h*ll, half these hockey teams, is when they started doing these slo-mos and, ‘Hey, BookTok, look at us, look at us,’ ” Lewis said in her video. (I think she’s missing the point here…)

When Alex let it be known he was uncomfortable because of the “aggressive language”, the Kraken team issued its own statement. “Social media provides us with a great opportunity to connect with new audiences and we originally engaged with the BookTok community in this spirit. However, this is a good reminder that unintended consequences may arise. It is disappointing that a small percentage of online commenters crossed a line.”

Is there anyone here who is at fault? Is it the Kraken team, who jumped at the chance to broaden their fan base? Is it the team members who should “suck it up” and expect this kind of attention? Or is it the influencers, who have blurred the lines beyond what’s considered acceptable? And what can be done to prevent this from happening in the future?

I’d love to know your thoughts on this! Please respond in the comments.

1 https://www.cbc.ca/arts/commotion/what-happened-when-booktok-was-unleashed-on-the-seattle-kraken-1.6936740

All other quotes from  https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/kraken/kraken-have-learning-moment-after-alex-wennberg-and-wife-condemn-social-media-promotion/

What Anheuser-Busch Got Wrong

I find news stories about Harry and Meghan’s exit from royal life, unusual weather, and the Anheuser-Busch controversy interesting.

If you’re not familiar with this latter story, let me give you a short recap. In April, Bud Light’s (now ex-) marketing VP wanted to update Bud Light’s “fratty” and “out of date humor” image. Anheuser-Busch contacted transgender activist/social media influencer Dylan Mulvaney. In short order, a TikTok video surfaced of Dylan popping open a can of Bud-Light to celebrate 365 days of Girlhood. The result was not what AB expected. Kid Rock used cases of Bud Light for target practice, other celebrities spoke out against the campaign, and current customers expressed dissatisfaction. Bar owners pulled the beer from their shelves and refused to sell it. While a few celebrities offered support for Bud Light’s new campaign, the boycott against Bud Light was gaining steam.

At this point, Anheuser-Busch released a statement: “We are in the business of bringing people together over beer.” (Since I’m not a beer drinker, I can’t comment on the validity of this statement. I live near a Big Ten college, and usually when people are “brought together over beer,” it’s an opportunity for dumb decisions to be made.) So, what’s the thing Anheuser-Busch didn’t do? Issue a statement supporting their new campaign. Instead, they claimed the specialty cans decorated with Dylan’s face weren’t available for sale. (Um…so what?)

There was so much serious backlash and hate, Dylan left the country because it “didn’t feel safe” at home. Bud Light’s stock plummeted. They received the dreaded star at Costco (indicating it would be discontinued), and now they’re facing massive lay-offs.

Despite Anheuser-Busch’s expansive reach, they were unaware of their consumer demographic. According to The Wise Sage, otherwise known as Google, most beer drinkers are male and between the ages of 21-34 who enjoy sports, socializing, and humor. (Obviously, there also are plenty of conservatives drinking beer, proven by the boycott.)

So what happened here? A few interesting things.  1. Anheuser-Busch didn’t (to quote Shania Twain) “dance with one who brought you.” When the campaign turned into a five-alarm dumpster fire, they withdrew. Can you imagine those emergency marketing meetings?  2. Anheuser-Busch showed they don’t know their customers (or they aren’t aware of the current woke/anti-woke divide). Rather than pick a popular comedian or a young actor, they picked a social media influencer/activist.  3. In an effort to broaden their reach and make more money, they messed up by trying to fix something that wasn’t broken.

My heart goes out to Dylan. Sexual diversity/identity is a hot button issue. But nobody, regardless of how they identify themselves, should feel the need to leave their home because they feel unsafe.

I don’t know where Anheuser-Busch will go from here. They ignored the LGBTQAI+ community’s request for support. They also didn’t apologize to their current “fratty” customers, and instead fired two marketing employees in charge of the campaign. They’re spinning their wheels, afraid to make a stand and state where their support lies.

How would you have handled the situation, either the marketer’s request for Bud Light’s new image or the resulting dumpster fire? Leave your ideas in the comments below. (And if you want more articles like this, as well as book reviews and other news, sign up for my monthly newsletter! I’d love to stay in touch.)

Integrating a New Language and Culture into Traitor: Guest post by Laurie Lucking

Today we have author Laurie Lucking  sharing a little more about building language and culture into our stories. Her new book Traitor, book 2 of Tales of the Mystics, is available for pre-order! (and I’ve read it–sooo good! 🙂 ) Thanks, Laurie!

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I know I’m probably (okay, definitely!) a bit biased, but I adored the setting I created for the first book in my series, Common. Castles, gowns, carriages…wandering manicured gardens, reading by candlelight, taking a gentleman’s arm to be escorted to dinner. Enough chivalry and manners and banquets to make my fairy tale and Jane Austen-loving heart brim with joy. 🙂

But while the technology constraints of my fantasy world, along with the formality associated with royalty in general, caused many of these elements to carry over into Traitor, I wanted to fashion a distinctive new culture for Princess Penelope to immerse herself in when she travels overseas to fulfill a new betrothal. After all, Penelope’s natural beauty and elegance cause her to fit perfectly into her own society (at least until her involvement in a traitorous plot made her the subject of gossip and contempt). In order for her to grow and truly step outside her comfort zone in Traitor, I needed to expose her to something new and foreign.

Much of my inspiration for Delunia came from Greece, Italy, and other Mediterranean countries. The weather is sunny and hot, the people are affectionate and boisterous, and everything from the colors to the flavors is a bit more vibrant. Prim Penelope is initially overwhelmed by the clamoring sounds and vivid hues of her new home. But over time, she comes to see the beauty in the art she’d passed off as garish and the gardens she’d dismissed as wild and unkempt. She loosens up enough to learn the lively dances and visit the bustling marketplace, and she can’t deny the practicality and elegance of a more streamlined style of dress. But she doesn’t think she’ll ever adjust to the Delunians’ insistence that soon-to-be-married couples should show affection, especially since Penelope has no intention of falling in love with her new fiancé! She struggles to find a balance between the desire to embrace her new home and the fear of losing her former identity and connections to her family.

I also took on the challenge of introducing a new language in Traitor. Though I’ll be the first to admit I’m no J.R.R. Tolkien—I only came up with translations of words I actually needed for my story. 🙂 I took the Delunian language as another opportunity to give the country a unique feel, both in the sounds of the words and in their meanings. For example, poloi ipa asteria is a traditional Delunian phrase for bidding someone goodnight and translates to “sleep under a blanket of stars.” Let’s just say, when spoken by her new fiancé, it has more of a romantic impact on Penelope than she’d care to admit!

Teaching Penelope the new language and having her gradually incorporate it into her own speech patterns offered another way to show her slow acceptance of and acclimation to Delunia as her home. Plus, it offered some additional opportunities for character development along the way as she deals with the frustration and awkwardness of not being able to communicate with the people around her!

Thank you so much for inviting me to share about my series today! I hope you have as much fun exploring Delunia as I did creating it! I’d love to hear about some of your favorite fantasy worlds and languages!

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Thanks again for stopping by, Laurie!  Want to learn more about Traitor? Here’s the blurb!

Princess Penelope has finally found a way to redeem her past mistakes-if only it didn’t require betraying her new fiancé.

Princess Penelope has been the object of gossip and ridicule ever since she returned home in disgrace following her failed engagement to the Crown Prince of Imperia. When her father offers a new start in a country far across the sea, she has no choice but to accept.

Even if it means another betrothal, this time to a total stranger.

Penelope arrives in Delunia determined to avoid bringing further shame upon her family. But her devoted, caring fiancé makes it harder to guard her heart than she anticipated, and rumors of dark magic haunt her with memories she’d rather keep buried far beneath her pristine exterior.

When a poverty-stricken village outside the palace gates looks to her as their hope for a brighter future, Penelope embraces the opportunity to make amends for her transgressions. But in order to help, she must manipulate her new fiancé, putting her reputation on the line once more. And her heart.

Can Penelope rise above the failures of her past, or will she forever be branded a traitor?

Don’t forget to stop by the other sites on the blog tour!
  • Monday, 19th, “Redeeming a ‘Villain’ in Traitor” Laura A. Grace, www.lauraagrace.com
  • Tuesday, 20th, “Connecting Companion Novels in the Tales of the Mystics” Pam Halter,  www.pamhalter.com/fairiesfantasyfaith
  • Wednesday, 21st, “Visual Post: Characters of Traitor” Anne Wheeler, www.anne-wheeler.com/blog
  • Thursday, 22nd, “Integrating a New Language and Culture into Traitor” J.M. Hackamn, www.jmhackman.com
  • Friday, 23rd, “Author Interview with Laurie Lucking: Traitor Blog Tour” Riella Cristobal,  www.booksandeverydaylife.home.blog
  • Saturday, 24th, “Interview with Traitor Author Laurie Lucking” Amelia Nichole, www.amelianichole.com
  • Sunday, 25th, “Review of Traitor” Breny Maurtua, www.brenyandbooks.home.blog
  • Monday, 26th, “Dive-in Review: Traitor” Cathrine Bonham, www.cobonham.com
  • Monday, 26th, “Review of Traitor” Laurin Boyle, www.laurinboyle.wordpress.com
  • Tuesday, 27th, “Welcoming My Second Book into the World” Laurie Lucking, www.laurielucking.com
  • Wednesday, 28th, “Visual Post: Traitor Storyworld” Jenelle Schmidt, www.jenelleschmidt.com
  • Thursday, 29th, “Celebrate Laurie Lucking’s New Release Traitor Tonight” Michele Israel Harper,  www.MicheleIsraelHarper.com
  • Friday, 30th, “What’s Coming Next in the Tales of the Mystics” Peter Adler, www.arsilverberry.com/blog

Happy Release Day!

This is a slightly surreal day for me.  Spark was published in 2017, Flare in 2019, and Burn in 2020. But when I learned there would be a boxed set, with all three of my books plus some extra stories included, it was hard to  imagine. Today that news is a reality as the Firebrand Chronicles boxed set releases!

As mentioned, in addition to Spark, Flare, and Burn, there are also four stories inside which I had such fun writing. Let me tell you a little more about them.

“The Peddler”–a story that takes place between Spark and Flare as Brenna travels to Linneah to celebrate the winter holiday Sonatalis. And of course, Baldwin’s ex Gari is there.

“The Midnight Unicorn”–this gives the reader an inside peak into shapeshifter Anna’s search of One Maiden Chasm for new Stones of the Spring (and an internal heart-search on her long-standing crush on Erhardt).

“Beyond the Greatest Adventure”–this takes place immediately after Burn. Aideen Siriol’s sword (now carried by Brenna) is no ordinary sword. The readers and Brenna learn her sword has a story and powers of its own.

“The Helix”–this story shares a glimpse into Brenna’s world three years after the conclusion in Burn. Did you know griffins mate for life? We finally get the full story on how Arvandus met his mate Astraya.

                 

I did some quick math and realized the total of the extra stories is equal to a novella, so the set is like four books in one. 🙂 To celebrate in style, I arranged a #Firebrandbox challenge on Instagram and Facebook. Participate and gain chances to win a prize pack (pictures above^^^)–a large fire-print, padded book sleeve from the Etsy shop TrueNorthExclusives, a “jasper” pendant like Brenna’s, a snarky magnet (the quote could’ve come from Brenna’s journal!), a dragon figurine inspired by the story “Beyond the Greatest Adventure”, and a paperback copy of Spark OR Flare. Just go to my post today on either IG or FB to learn how to enter!

And if you’re in the mood for more prizes and Firebrand trivia, join me at the Fellowship of Fantasy’s Facebook page on Thursday, the 14th. I’ll be visiting, talking about Spark, and having some games and giveaways. Stop by and have fun with us!

Anyway, I hope you’ll celebrate with me today as this boxed set releases into the wild. Happy reading, and as Arvandus would say, “Fly true!”

Fantasy books for Christmas? Yes please!

Can you think of anything better than more Fantasy and Sci-Fi titles to put under your Christmas tree?

Yeah, I can’t think of anything either. So hold onto your Santa hats–I joined with fifteen talented authors for a blog tour! Each day a different author and book will be featured, from now until December 19th.

My day is December 4th, where you’ll have access to a fun excerpt from Burn, book 3 from the Firebrand Chronicles. (BTW, did you know a Firebrand Chronicles box set is releasing in January?!? Woot!)

Aside from amazing books to add to your towering TBR pile, there’s also a giveaway! Want all the pretty pictures and more details? Go here!

Here’s the tour schedule:

November 29th: Launch
November 30th: R.J. Anderson – Swift
December 1st: Ralene Burke – Armor of Aletheia
December 2nd: Michelle Diener – Breakaway
December 3rd: Sandra Fernandez Rhoads – Mortal Sight
December 4th: J.M. Hackman – Burn
December 5th: Sharon Hinck – Forsaken Island
December 6th: Ronie Kendig – Dawn of Vengeance
December 7th: Carla Laureano – Oath of the Brotherhood
December 8th: Belle Malory – Deviant Descendants
December 9th: Sara Schaller – The Genesis of Seven
December 10th: Jennifer Silverwood – Stay
December 11th: Anne Wheeler – Treason’s Crown
December 12th: Melissa Wright – Between Ink and Shadows
December 13th: Morgan Wylie –  Silent Orchids
December 14th: Kristen Young – Apprentice
December 15th: Grand Finale

Hope to see you there!

 

The Firebrand Chronicles Boxed Set

I’ve got interesting and exciting news–the Firebrand Chronicles will be released as a boxed set! *cue the confetti, marching band, and awkward cartwheels*

After Burn was released, there was a flurry of emails between me and my publisher discussing this. I got to work and wrote four short stories about Brenna and beloved side characters. It was a lot of fun to flesh out the world of the Jasper Territory a bit more. I’m thrilled to share it all with you!

The three books of the Firebrand Chronicles will release with the four short stories on January 11, 2021 (just one more reason 2021 looks better than 2020) 🙂

We’ll be planning a fun release week, and I’ll be putting together an Instagram challenge. And for those of you who avoid IG like the plague? If I can expand the fun to Facebook, I’ll do that, too. 🙂

Keep your eyes on this website for more information coming soon. But if you want to be kept in the loop, come to the Facebook group The Pryomaniacs or sign up for my newsletter (the gray box on the right). We have giveaways, updates on upcoming books, and other bookish stuff.  We’d love to see you!

 

Writing a Series vs. a Standalone

I’ve heard authors ask, “Should I write a series or a standalone?”

My first answer would be to write the story in your heart. DO NOT WRITE TO TRENDS – say it with me. Do not. By the time that story’s written, revised countless times, edited, and polished, that royal Tasmanian zombie-shifter prison quartet trend will have flashed and died.

But if you can see your story going either way, here are a few truths regarding series and standalones.

  • Historically, authors are told to write series. Series sell better. If you’re shooting for traditional publishing, it shows agents/publishers you have more than one book in you. Readers like following characters they’ve read about before. (This last point is a double-edged sword. More on this later.) But if there isn’t an arc there, and you aren’t interested in adding or fleshing out secondary characters, don’t force it. Some stories might only be one book long. That’s not a crime. In fact, lately, I’ve hesitated to buy or read a book in a series. Every story seems to be part of a series (says the author who wrote a trilogy. Ahem.) Sometimes I just want to read a well-told, juicy standalone. Sometimes I just want to write a well-told, juicy standalone. But…
  • There’s a benefit to sticking with characters you’ve created, tortured, and triumphed with after just one storyline. I found this especially true with the Firebrand Chronicles. I grew to really know and love Brenna, Baldwin, and Arvandus. Spending all that time with them made me imagine what else could happen to them. After finishing a story, I usually imagine different connecting points between characters and plot. Even my short story “Everwild” (which is in the anthology Mythical Doorways and is FREE, BTW…) is already a four-book series in my head. I have plenty of adventure and mayhem planned for half-fae Flint and full-fae Lila. I just can’t get all my projects written as quickly as I’d like.
  • At the outset, writing a series requires more planning. Detailed notes are imperative—a “bible” for your world, with the characters, their backstories, descriptions, towns, magic system, tech level, money system, languages, belief systems, etc. You won’t remember it all—trust me. Take copious notes and keep them with you while you write. A map is good too, even if it’s one scrawled on notebook paper (which is what I have for my current WIP. I’m not crazy about it, but it’s working—for now.)
  • Over the long haul, world-building is generally less work. Although there are detailed notes being listed in your notebook bible, you create one world. That world lasts for the duration of the series. For each standalone, the author must create a new world. Every. Single. Time.
  • I mentioned how much readers like following characters they’re familiar with. I’ve found some readers don’t want to buy a book and then wait a year for the next installment. So they’ll wait. (*Raises hand.*) Many will wait until all the books are out. You won’t see sales. Don’t let that discourage you. Keep writing the next story. If you’re self-publishing, you could avoid this problem by doing a rapid release (which is writing all the stories, editing and polishing them, and then releasing them in quick succession, usually no more than six months apart.)

Don’t feel you have to create a series if it’s not in you. There’s a place for everyone at the table, both series writers and standalone authors.

Going Deep in Your Story, Part 2

There are plenty of ways to go deep into the story you’re telling. Many people think going deep refers to deep point of view, which I covered in last week’s post. Today, I want to discuss ways to add richness to your storytelling by going deep in other ways.

One way is to use all five senses (smell, sight, taste, touch, and hearing). Yes, I know this is a basic rule. But think…in this digital age, when was the last time you put your phone away and just looked?  Learn to be an observer of people and environments. People watch. What do you notice? What about your environment? What color of blue is the sky? How does the snow look when it falls slowly?

Take a scene you’re currently working on. Have you included what the character experiences? The purr of a sports car? The stickiness of a fast-food counter? Smells are sometimes overlooked, but I love these lines from Rudyard Kipling: “Smells are surer than sights or sounds/To make your heart-strings crack…”

Sometimes I’ll include the sixth sense, intuition (sparingly). You know that feeling of knowing when someone’s lying or when your hair rises on the back of your neck? This sense is great for creating tension.

I can imagine you’re thinking, “But I can’t write the story and include all of that at the same time—it’s too much!” You’re right, it is. So just write the story first. One of my favorite quotes is by Terry Pratchett: “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.” Spill everything onto the page. Don’t edit, don’t fuss about word choice. It doesn’t need to be pretty—you can add the five senses in the following drafts.

Something else you can include in the second draft (& third, and fourth, and fifth, and…) is descriptions. Metaphors and similes add to the mood of the story as well. Make use of them (again, sparingly) through the character’s eyes. For example, a high society woman wouldn’t say or think someone was “as happy as a pig in slop.” Stay true to your character so the reader can stay in the character’s skin.

Show, don’t tell, how someone feels. Telling is much weaker than showing.

Shari felt anger sweep over her. Instead: Shari clenched her shaking hands into fists.

Ron was ashamed. Instead: Ron blushed and turned away.

The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi is a great resource to use. It matches actions to feelings to help you make the shift from telling to showing.

Enjoy going deep in your next story!

Going Deep in Your Story, Part 1

Have you ever heard of deep point of view? As a  writer, you want to transport the reader into the story. You want them there with the characters, feeling and experiencing everything they are. Deep point of view accomplishes that.

It’s a more intimate way of writing. The writer removes the narrator and settles into a comfy chair in the chosen character’s head. Although deep POV usually refers to third person, I’ve also found writing this way helpful in first person as well. It is limiting, though. You can’t know what the other characters are thinking because you’re firmly entrenched in your comfy chair. You can see reactions, but the other characters’ thoughts are hidden.

There are several other things to remember with deep POV.

You have to pick a character to inhabit. You can’t do two or three characters at a time. When you change scenes or chapters, you can slip into someone else’s head, but don’t do it within the scene. It’s sometimes referred to as head-hoppping, and it’s very confusing to the reader.

Avoid dialogue tags (in third person.) If you’re in Ron’s head, you wouldn’t say Ron snapped at Sharon. You’d use interiority to give the reader a window into what’s he thinking. For example: “No, you can’t have the last pickle.” He gritted his teeth. I’ve never seen someone as selfish as Sharon.

Avoid “distancing” words. She felt, noticed, realized, thought, looked at, etc. For example: Shari exited the shop. She noticed the dark sky. In seconds, she felt the heavy raindrops soak her clothes as she ran for her car. I’ll have to drive home carefully, she thought.

The same passage with deep viewpoint: Shari exited the shop. Dark clouds loomed, blocking the sun. In seconds, raindrops soaked her clothes as she ran for her car. I’ll have to drive home carefully.

Although these aren’t excerpts from the great American novel, the reader is closer to the characters. They sense Ron’s irritation and experience the storm as Shari does.

A couple of books cover this writing technique. A good one is Rivet Your Reader with Deep Point of View by Jill Elizabeth Nelson. Another is Writing Deep Viewpoint by Kathy Tyers.

Try this technique the next time you sit down to write. It’ll make your characters come alive for your readers.