There are plenty of ways to go deep into the story you’re telling. Many people think going deep refers to deep point of view, which I covered in last week’s post. Today, I want to discuss ways to add richness to your storytelling by going deep in other ways.
One way is to use all five senses (smell, sight, taste, touch, and hearing). Yes, I know this is a basic rule. But think…in this digital age, when was the last time you put your phone away and just looked? Learn to be an observer of people and environments. People watch. What do you notice? What about your environment? What color of blue is the sky? How does the snow look when it falls slowly?
Take a scene you’re currently working on. Have you included what the character experiences? The purr of a sports car? The stickiness of a fast-food counter? Smells are sometimes overlooked, but I love these lines from Rudyard Kipling: “Smells are surer than sights or sounds/To make your heart-strings crack…”
Sometimes I’ll include the sixth sense, intuition (sparingly). You know that feeling of knowing when someone’s lying or when your hair rises on the back of your neck? This sense is great for creating tension.
I can imagine you’re thinking, “But I can’t write the story and include all of that at the same time—it’s too much!” You’re right, it is. So just write the story first. One of my favorite quotes is by Terry Pratchett: “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.” Spill everything onto the page. Don’t edit, don’t fuss about word choice. It doesn’t need to be pretty—you can add the five senses in the following drafts.
Something else you can include in the second draft (& third, and fourth, and fifth, and…) is descriptions. Metaphors and similes add to the mood of the story as well. Make use of them (again, sparingly) through the character’s eyes. For example, a high society woman wouldn’t say or think someone was “as happy as a pig in slop.” Stay true to your character so the reader can stay in the character’s skin.
Show, don’t tell, how someone feels. Telling is much weaker than showing.
Shari felt anger sweep over her. Instead: Shari clenched her shaking hands in
to fists.
Ron was ashamed. Instead: Ron blushed and turned away.
The Emotion Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi is a great resource to use. It matches actions to feelings to help you make the shift from telling to showing.
Enjoy going deep in your next story!
It’s a more intimate way of writing. The writer removes the narrator and settles into a comfy chair in the chosen character’s head. Although deep POV usually refers to third person, I’ve also found writing this way helpful in first person as well. It is limiting, though. You can’t know what the other characters are thinking because you’re firmly entrenched in your comfy chair. You can see reactions, but the other characters’ thoughts are hidden.
Avoid “distancing” words. She felt, noticed, realized, thought, looked at, etc. For example: Shari exited the shop. She noticed the dark sky. In seconds, she felt the heavy raindrops soak her clothes as she ran for her car. I’ll have to drive home carefully, she thought.